Stupid Shirts Away
by Kiddo20
Summary: After announcing that they were having an Engagement Party, Ino and Sakura were convinced that the lovebirds needed to take up the latest fashion coming from Suna: couple clothing. Naruto had a different idea. A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words Series. Not related to other stories.


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the fanart that I took inspiration from. If I owned either I would be very happy…alas…I am making no money off of this venture.

So…why did this one come out so fast when the last one took a month. Several reasons. This has been in various stages of completion for about 2 months now. About 2 weeks ago I was almost finished but got caught up in a storm that demanded that I write and complete 'Hiding from the Scary Girls.' Once that was completed I was finally able to look back on this one. Also, things at work had picked up for a while so I had less downtime to write. And finally – sorry I have a life too. But yay! Here is another one! Enjoy!

You can find the image at:

sammywhatammy. deviantart art/ stupid-shirts-away-192171931

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Worlds: Story Twelve

Stupid Shirts Away

Shikamaru wondered, not for the first time, if he was cursed.

Cursed to have troublesome female friends.

He slouched against the wall chewing absentmindedly at the inside of his cheek. Maybe he could chew through his cheek and get checked into the hospital and not have to deal with said troublesome friend.

Scratch that. Ino was no Sakura, but she knew enough healing jutsu to patch up his stupid ass should he actually go through with all of the effort that would be required in order to actually accomplish that feat.

And he didn't want to inflict bodily injury on himself for something as stupid as this.

...but it was close.

Also – Naruto would never let him hear the end of it. It would send the blonde off on a laughing tirade that would go for weeks.

"It's your engagement party!" Ino rallied again, dragging the Nara bodily through the streets much to the amusement of passersby. Some ninja village this was. Here he was being kidnapped in broad daylight and everyone just thought that it was funny.

The fact that he was a fully qualified jounin that could easy out power Ino if he really wanted to put the effort into it had nothing to do with anything.

It was the principle of it dammit!

"I'm aware Ino." Shikamaru grumbled, focusing on keeping his feet beneath him as she tugged him around. "I was kind of the one to propose."

"Still shocks me that," she comment, throwing a smirk over her shoulder as her longtime friend. "That out of the pair of you, _you_ were the one who took the initiative."

Shikamaru just rolled his eyes and bit his lip out of mild frustration.

He desperately wanted a cigarette, but he had promised Naruto that he would stop.

"_You're not like me Shikamaru…you don't have a chakra entity inside of you that immediately begins to heal any damage you take. I don't even want to think of what you've done to your lungs already…"_

"_Studies show that those utilizing chakra manipulation are far less likely to suffer ill effects from things like smoking and drinking. Our own heightened chakra aids in healing from things like this. The odds of anything happening to me because I smoke are…"_

"…_higher than they should be already. I just want you around for as long as possible Shikamaru…and it would be really dumb to die of something that you knew was bad for you since you had been a child."_

That had been one of those weird conversations that the pair had been having in recent months. They seemed to arise naturally in the course of their conversations. Things like buying a house together. Paying bills. What did Shikamaru think about his clan's reaction to the lack of a natural heir to succeed him? Did they want to start their own family? What name would the kids have? Would they be Naras or Uzumakis? Purposefully joining your life with another for the duration as they intended was a serious and complicated scenario with endless outcomes.

But along with serious conversations, there was joking and laughing and frustration and everything that Shikamaru had enjoyed about the blonde man so much just in concentrated form. And Shikamaru _knew_ that he had made the right decision, even if there were some parties unnamed around the village who were grumbling about the young clan head's choice of partner.

Naruto was interesting. And he remained interesting all through the years that Shikamaru had known him.

Do you know how exciting that was for a Nara? The clan who bored so easily that they were once defeated after most of their members fell asleep during a battle?

Shikamaru was _never_ bored with Naruto. His analytical and prediction skills were constantly put to the test but even if he was wrong it was always in the most wonderful of ways. He was happy. Over the moon happy. Want to shout from rooftops happy. Willing to get out of bed early on a day off happy.

That needs to be repeated: _willing to get out of bed early on a day off happy_.

But most of that would be too much effort so instead he had just quietly asked the man for forever as he watched the blonde man moving about the kitchen making a dinner for them to share.

Naruto of course had responded by tackling the shadow-nin to the floor and crying out "Yes!" over and over again as he sloppily attempted to kiss the prone man on the floor into blissful submission.

A snap of fingers in front of his face jolted the Nara back to reality. "Daydreaming again Shikamaru?" Ino's voice teased as he pushed the silly grin from his face, though it put up a rather determined fight in response.

He rolled his shoulder, twisting his forearm and dislodging the woman's grip as he mumbled, "Yeah, yeah." He looked to the shop that they were stopped in front of and sighed heavily. It was one of the nicest clothing shops in town. And Ino was not going to let him leave without buying something. And she would be specific about her _something_ too. The last time he had been dragged on one of these shopping expeditions he had promised Ino that he would buy something just to get her to shut up and walked out with a pair of disgustingly expensive socks and a smirk on his face.

Socks that Naruto had ended up using as a part of a wonderfully insane make-shift patch on leaky hose in their washing machine which lasted them months before they finally got around to buying a new one for their place, tired of continual make-shift repairs to other broken down parts.

"You are buying an outfit Shikamaru. An _outfit_." She stressed.

Shikamaru groaned. Actually outright moaning in the streets in protest would be a better way to describe it. "We're having it at a _bar_ Ino. No one is going to be dressed up. The most formal anyone is going to be is their uniforms if they are coming off shift or a mission before they get there. Naruto isn't going to be dressed up all fancy. I'm just going to look like a moron."

Ino planted her hands on her hips. "Don't you want to look your best for Naruto?"

Shikamaru quirked an eyebrow at the woman who he had known since childhood. "Really?" He was honestly surprised that she asked that question having known him for so long. And also knowing Naruto – who wouldn't care what Shikamaru was wearing because he was _Naruto_.

Then there was a sudden warm presence at his side, standing closer than normally rules of personal space would allow, and Shikamaru couldn't stop the smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth if he had wanted too.

Think of the Devil.

Naruto.

"Then he's all sorted out Ino. As long as he shows up I'm happy." And there was that beaming smile that seemed to be too large to fit on a face and yet seemed so perfectly yet impossibly at home on his.

"But Naruto…" The female blonde started.

Naruto waved her off with a casual flick of his wrist, "Don't worry about it. Sakura already took me to town over what we were wearing to the party. Apparently it's a thing in Land of Wind for pairs to wearing 'couple clothing.'" Ino's eyes danced at the reference which had been seeping into the Land of Fire lately, including on one of the longest running TV soap operas in the country, which many women around Konoha happened to watch. Part of Shikamaru blamed that show for the obsession that girls their age had had with Sasuke while they were all in school. He could have been lifted directly out of an episode of that show and no one would have questioned it. "So we're doing that. I already bought everything." Naruto finished with a jerky nod of his head.

While Ino squealed about how cute it was and how she wished she had a boyfriend who would wear couple clothing with her, Shikamaru was inwardly cringing. How had Naruto let himself get talked into this? And why was he talking about it now like it was no big deal? Didn't he know how embarrassing it was going to be walking into the bar with all the friends in _couple clothing? _ They were gay but they weren't women. And that fad was totally a woman thing, dressing up her whipped boyfriend in clothes just like hers.

As though Naruto could feel the heat of the Nara's gaze, he leaned in slightly and whispered, "Trust me."

Letting his not-so-happy gaze linger for a few moments longer as Ino wished them well and wandered off, Shikamaru took a deep breath and stepped back from his fiancé. "I'll trust you enough to not scream your head off just now and in public. But you need to explain."

Naruto laughed lightly. "Fair enough." He grabbed Shikamaru's hand and the pair started walking in the general direction of home. Naruto was very tactile. Maybe it came from having a childhood that was almost exactly opposite, but Naruto was always bumping shoulders, holding hands, sitting close enough that their legs would touch, basically anything in order to keep physical contact with Shikamaru.

It was something that Shikamaru would never have allowed with other people, and certainly not in public. But it never seemed awkward or contrived with Naruto. It seemed completely and totally natural that they should be holding hands, fingers laced as they strolled down the street. And seeing as they were strolling, and not taking the rooftops, Naruto had plenty of time to begin his explanation.

"So Sakura has been going on and on about the 'couple things' since her last mission to Suna. Apparently Kankuro and his girlfriend were wearing it on a date or something while she was there." Naruto began with a dismissive half-shrug.

Shikamaru snorted at the thought of the puppet master's strings being pulled by some woman and asked, "Was he doing it voluntarily?"

Naruto shrugged. "Sakura _said_ he was…but I can't think of any guy who does that voluntarily…not unless he was getting something out of the deal."

"And yet _we're_ going to?" Shikamaru asked, but calmly. After all he had promised to trust the man.

Naruto smiled a silly grin, "Like I said, 'unless he's getting something out of the deal.' It's not bad. It's kind of like…a parody…of the whole couple clothes thing. If you don't think it's as funny as I do we won't do it."

Shikamaru drew his brows together at the same time as a small smile graced his face giving him a rather ridiculous expression that caused Naruto to snort and turn his face away before he could compose himself.

"Anyway…" he announced once he had done so slightly too loud as though there was still a hint of a snicker hiding in the back of his throat that he was trying to drown out. "When I told her about the Engagement Party she kept going on and on about how we _had_ to wear couple clothing to the party as though it was some requirement." The blonde rolled his eyes yet again. "I tried to tell her that was a girl thing, but she kept saying that Kankuro had done it. And I was like, Kankuro wears make-up too!"

Shikamaru laughed outright. The sheer amount of make-up/war paint arguments he had witnessed between the Suna ninja and his Konoha friends over the years always provided a source of amusement for him. "War paint." He whispered faintly, loving the smirk that Naruto tossed his way, the blonde knowing exactly what Shikamaru was thinking.

"Whatever. Anyway, she demanded that we go out shopping for them right then and there." Naruto shuddered at the memory of past shopping trips with his teammate. Shikamaru nodded sympathetically. The only person it was worse to be dragged on a shopping trip by than Ino was Sakura, who it seemed would insist on seeing every article of clothing in a store before she would ever be willing to leave it. Multiple times as well. "So, I told her that I would figure it out for the both of us, but that I had a meeting I had to run off too."

"Did you?"

"Have a meeting?"

Shikamaru nodded.

"Yeah actually. Well…a lunch anyway." Naruto looked sideways at his fiancé, "With you mother actually."

Shikamaru stopped in the street, his eyes wide. "With my _mom_?" He started moving again but his grip around Naruto's hand was definitely tighter than it had been moments before. "Why were you having lunch with my mother?" He kept his voice calm intentionally.

"Burying the hatchet." Naruto said simply.

Yoshino had not been particularly happy when her son revealed who he was dating. She didn't outright hate Naruto, but she hadn't really tried to bring him into the family either, keeping herself distant from their relationship and continually throwing out probing questions trying to find cracks in their relationship.

It wasn't that she didn't like that Shikamaru was gay.

It wasn't that she didn't like Naruto even.

It's that Shikamaru was her son, her _only_ son, and she wanted the best for him. All mothers want the best for their children. But it wasn't just that she wasn't someone great, it was that she wanted someone somehow _superhuman_. Amazing cook, great with kids, intelligent, gorgeous, strong, healthy, the list continued on and on. And while Naruto was some of those things, he wasn't all of them. And he wasn't the woman that she had always pictured with her son. She had expectations that no human could ever hope to live up to and Naruto was nothing but _utterly_ human.

A part of Shikamaru thought that there would always be this silent division between his mother and his soon-to-be-husband. "How…?" He asked quietly.

Naruto squeeze his lover's hand gently as they walked up the stairs of their building, having meandered enough through the streets to reach their destination. "She just wants you to be happy Shika. We both do. That's it. Once she wrapped her head around that idea there wasn't so much to complain about left." He finished with a small shrug as Shikamaru opened the door, mindlessly subverting the traps that they laid to ward off intruders as a part of his daily routine.

There was a lump in his throat that he didn't want to acknowledge and so he remained silent as they worked off their shoes and moved into the rest of their apartment.

"So do you want to see them?" Naruto asked suddenly and Shikamaru looked at him quizzically causing the blonde to laugh. "The shirts. Our 'couple clothing.'" He explained with full on finger quotes.

The Nara shrugged. Why not? Let's see this supposed parody.

Naruto pulled a bag down from the shelf in the hall closet and pulled out two t-shirts. He examined the fronts before tossing one to Shikamaru while laying the other over himself with a victorious smirk.

Shikamaru read it three times, darting his eyes up to read Naruto's a fair few times as well.

Then he laughed.

Ino and Sakura had stewed over in the corner, nursing their drinks for about an hour after the pair arrived, but finally admitted that technically yes, they _were_ in couple clothes, even if he was a rather mocking demonstration of it. But also, that it was _incredibly_ like the pair to pull something like this, especially as it was Naruto's idea in the first place, but the wicked grin that had covered Shikamaru's face as he saw their reactions through the crowd had proven that he whole heartedly agreed with the whole proposal.

The rest of their friends had laughed their asses off after they read what had been written across them.

They were otherwise plain white t-shirts, except for their writing. The pair made sure to maintain proper positions next to each other throughout the night so that they still made sense. Naruto's shirt proclaimed "I'm with smartass," along with an arrow pointing to his left, the general direction of which Shikamaru tried to maintain position in. Shikamaru's said, "I'm with dumbass," and his was pointing to his right, with Naruto likewise throughout the night trying to remain in the general direction of the pointing arrow even if the two were chatting with different people.

They were a hit. Kiba was howling in laughter and they'd even heard a chuckle escape from the ever stoic Shino. Camera flashes kept going off as friends and just other bar patrons immortalized the happy night for the young couple.

Shikamaru had to admit. It was perfect. The party was the casual event that he had been hoping for. He hadn't been roped into stuffy clothing and his friends had still gotten their wish of seeing the pair in essentially matching outfits. And it was fun!

As Tsunade herself declared that she wanted a picture to send to Suna and show the adaptation of their culture into Konoha life, Shikamaru had to admit he blushed a bit, though he would forever blame it on a flush from the alcohol if anyone other than Naruto was to ever ask about it. Naruto winked, elbowing Shikamaru lightly in the side as he toasted his beer and Shikamaru glanced sideways at that smiling face and felt a sense of wondrous contentment with a life so much _more_ than anything he had ever planned on or accounted for.

Naruto placed his bottle on the bar ledge and turned his body sideways so he could see his fiancé fully. The blonde was panting a bit, having been running around a good portion of the night talking with different people and stealing food off of their plates when they weren't paying attention…until Akamaru ratted him out anyway. Sweat dampened the roots of his hair but his eyes glistened with joy and the smile just shrunk, it never disappeared.

"So…everything you wanted?"

Shikamaru smiled softly and slipped his fingers gently into blonde hair. "And more." He whispered, leaning in for a gentle kiss that promised more later.

A round of applause met the gesture as his drunken friends saw the moment of affection and decided to congratulate them for it.

The pair broke off laughing and Naruto yelled something about another round and Shikamaru just shook his head as Naruto took his silent head count.

This wasn't what he would have planned for his life. And if you had asked a younger version of himself he likely would have thought you crazy because out of all of the possible futures that he had worked out in his head this one was so infeasible it wasn't even on the board.

But here it was. Here he was engaged to a man. A strong, energetic, entertaining man who was _anything_ but normal or average.

And he wouldn't have it any other way.

End

So. Fun fact. I live in South Korea and the "couple clothing" thing is a real deal practice here. Couples will go out on dates wearing similar looking clothing, down to even the shoes. It is a rather strange thing to see but you do get used to it eventually. I would never do it myself, but to each their own right? Naruto and Shikamaru certainly made it their own in this one.

Please – review!


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